Mom Does Berlin
Last night, I booked flights to Berlin for just me. Afterwards, I laid in bed and talked through all the things I would do to make it okay. “I’ll start pumping now and layering it in the freezer because I don’t even have that much extra so, I’ll start now?” Flynn pressed the pad of his pointer finger between my eyebrows and rubbed little circles until the furrow released.
This morning Fox devoured me, drawing milk with her whole body. I could have cried us both soaking wet with the heartache of change. She’s a kid now more than a baby and I’m less dear-in-head-lights and more a mother who knows what she’s doing. It’s beautiful and sad, us growing up.
I had a small yoga studio in Berlin which is where I met Flynn. After our second sleep over he asked me if I wanted children and when I said no he smiled. It woke up my womb when he replied, “that’s too bad, you’d make the most beautiful mother.” Now we have that child he asked me about all those years ago and I’m going back to Berlin this month to teach women about their wombs and pussies and the power of looking between their legs. Life is really weird and wonderful which is exactly how I feel right now. -L x