Am I a House Wife?
Is this what a HOUSE WIFE looks like?! I bought car insurance last week. Under job title, MOTHER was not an option.
I tried Stay At Home Mom but nada. I tried Healer and Sexual Liberator - still nothing. 🤷🏼♀️ Ummmmm Coach? This spiralled into a series of sports team possibilities and although I do juggle balls and kick goals, these options didn’t fit either. I wanted to select MOTHER, to claim this role as my title, but I couldn’t.
So I went with House Wife and I then I looked for House Husband just to level the playing field but that didn’t exist. I imagined other titles relating to location and relationship: Office Son, Hotel Sister, Condominium Cousin and although I had some LOLZ I felt a mix of WTF and OMG that MOTHER (the role of growing, sustaining, caring for and supporting human life) was not considered a job.
In healing my relationship to the role of mother, this has been a biggie - the public dismissal of motherhood as valuable and important. My own mother told me when she left her job in the 80s to care for me and my brother she had the same fear, the fear of being regarded as “just a mom.” This feeling of motherhood being denied as crucial, vital and imperative work runs deep!
I heal it every single day through my language. I never say: “I’m just a mom” or refer to other women as “just moms.” When people ask me what I do I hold my heart high and say, “I’M A MOTHER.” When I start to feel like I’m not doing enough with my life and time, I run soul first into the role of Mothering. I watch my child. I make epic food. I clean the house. I dance. I breastfeed. I balance my paid work with my unpaid work and I value it all. And of course, sometimes I “just” sit around and drink grapefruit juice and sparkling water and look at myself in the mirror like a good House Wife.